


You're Too Drunk For This

by WeeooWeeoo



Category: DCU
Genre: 2nd Person, And best friends, Gen, Kara and Barry are absolute sunshines, OC, and bouncing off other people's ideas, did I mention this is ooc, not a lot, some clark/lois, sorry lois doesn't really speak in this at all, super ooc, this is entirely based on that one writing prompt on tumble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-16 17:48:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13641342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeeooWeeoo/pseuds/WeeooWeeoo
Summary: based entirely on that one writing prompt on the tumbles and a few people's additions:"You’re a regular office worker born with the ability to “see” how dangerous a person is with a number scale of 1-10 above their heads. A toddler would be a 1, while a skilled soldier with a firearm may score a 7. Today, you notice the reserved new guy at the office measures a 10."





	You're Too Drunk For This

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the post this is based on:  
> http://cleatmeintheface.tumblr.com/post/169615403244/radioactivepeasant-janothar  
> lol I just did this for funsies, try not to judge too harsh.

“Eliza!”  
You lift your eyes from your computer to connect with Clark’s crinkling, insane blue eyes as he approached your desk.  
“Oh hey Clark. What’s up?”  
Recently you’d been having more and more casual conversations with the man. The more you spoke with him, the more relaxed you became around him. Clark was a genuine sweetie. A real midwestern gent with manners and a geeky laugh. If he weren’t already obviously worshiping the very ground that Lois Lane walked on, you might have pursued him. But you were totally okay with the relationship you had with him now. The number still perturbed you and you spend one too many a time getting caught staring at the space just above his head in pure confusion. You haven’t seen Diana again, but Clark talks about her sometimes. You wonder if he even knew.  
“Hey, Lois and I are hosting a small New Years party. Will you come?” He smiles hopefully at you.  
“Sure, Clark” You smile back. “Will I be the only single there? Should I start looking for a date?”  
He chuckles “Nah. Like I said. It’ll probably be pretty small. Just a few close friends”  
Your heart warms to be considered a close friend. He gives you his and Lois’ apartment address and tells you to come at 9. Before you know it, New Years arrives. You’re a little nervous since it seems you probably won’t know anyone there besides Clark and Lois, but you brush on your brightest red lipstick, put on a cute yellow dress and take a few, deep breaths before knocking on their door.  
A pretty blond with tortoiseshell glasses opens the door.  
“Oh hey! You must be Eliza! It’s great to meet you” She smiles brightly at you and you try hard to make your answering smile look natural and meet her eyes when your gaze wants to be pulled up to the dark black 10 sitting just above her curls.  
You shake her hand, which is soft and strong.  
“Hi. It’s nice to meet you too…” You trail off.  
“Oh sorry! My name’s Kara. Kara Danvers. I’m Clark’s cousin” She blushes as she leads you inside.  
That explained the matching blue irises. But what was it about this family that made them all tens? You wracked your brain. There’s no way they were some sort of crime family right? They just seemed too… wholesome for that.  
As you pondered, you keep walking into the apartment towards the laughter and chatter coming from the kitchen and sitting room. Several pairs of eyes turn to see you come in and even more glance up at the sound of you dropping your bag. The majority of the men and women in this room are 10’s. You spot Diana and her disconcerting 11 perched by the counter on a barstool, and Bruce Wayne, somehow, a 10, in the corner with a drink in hand.  
You scoop up your bag quickly as a handsome, lithe man in a grey button up speaks up with a friendly smile,  
“Hey, who’s this?”  
Kara bounces forward but before she or you can say anything, Clark comes in from the hall, Lois in tow.  
“Eliza! You made it!” He beams. “Everyone, this is Eliza Muller. We work together at the Daily Planet”.  
You got a chorus of friendly hellos and a few nods.  
“Eliza, this is Kara, Diana, Barry, Hal, Oliver and Bruce” Each of them nodded at you in turn, Barry and Kara waving jovially. They all then return to their conversations casually except for Clark, Kara and Barry who are all still turned towards you. Lois waves at you before joining Diana across the room.  
Barry, the one in the grey button up from before reaches over to shake your hand. “If you’re a friend of Clark’s then I’m sure you’re great. It’s nice to meet you”  
You blush a little but chuckle “Likewise. How do you know Clark?”  
Barry rubs the back of his neck. “Oh… you know. I’m a CSI from Central City. I’ve worked with Clark on a few cases. He’s a good reporter”  
You smile back, but it doesn’t quite reach your eyes, you can tell.  
“He is” You agree. Barry seems nice.  
But he’s a liar.  
“What kind of cases?” You ask.  
Barry stiffens and flicks his eyes over to Clark  
“Uh…”  
“You remember the story I did on the Central City outbreak a few months ago?” Clark smoothly intercedes. “Barry was one of my sources for that. We kept in contact. He is a great CSI”.  
Barry laughs “You flatterer”.  
You accept the story with a nod, but the sense of unease initially caused by simply being in a room full of this many dangerous beings just continues to roil around in your gut as you realize that for the first time, Clark is covering something up. The reporter in you is chomping at the bit to ask more questions but your sense of self-preservation is beating it back with a stick. It’s only 9:20. You have to survive at least 3 more hours here.  
You start to feel a little guilty at that thought. You trust Clark. You know he’s a genuinely good person. The people he chose to keep company with must be also right? You take a deep breath and attempt to release some of the tension.  
You get yourself a drink and it helps a little. You have to admit, most everyone seems pretty welcoming and friendly enough, although a little mismatched in your opinion. All different backgrounds and careers. The stories of how they knew each other were all pretty fuzzy and seemed scrapped together last second. Some of them were better liars than others. Even cute, bubbly Kara was keeping something hidden.  
You somehow, in all the idle chatter and shuffling, find yourself standing in a little circle besides Diana Prince and Bruce Wayne, talking about, of all things, modern art. Although you discover they’re both easy enough to talk to, they’re also both incredibly, intimidatingly intelligent. You find yourself unable to stop fiddling with your glass and having to mentally calm yourself several times. There’s a depth that belies their benign conversation, and your laughter takes on a nervous, shrill quality.  
Unfortunately, it’s noticed.  
“Are you okay, Eliza?” Bruce inquires.  
“What? Yeah. I’m fine” You answer. Probably a little too quickly. Bruce’s eyebrows furrow slightly.  
“Are you sure? You seem a little uncomfortable”  
You take a shaky breath. Your smile is getting harder to maintain and you giggle nervously, wincing internally.  
Diana looks concerned and places a strong, steady hand on your forearm.  
“Bruce is right. You seem pale. Are you feeling alright?” Her strange accent is soothing. Such direct attention from the most dangerous and breathtaking woman in the room had the opposite effect as intended and you struggle to steady your heartbeat again.  
You breathe a huge sigh of relief as Lois calls out  
“Hey guys! 1 minute left!”  
You back away from Diana and Bruce’s questioning looks as quickly as possible.  
“I gotta refill my drink. Be right back”  
You take the few, precious seconds of semi-privacy filling your drink to consciously calm yourself for real this time. It’s almost over. In like, 20 minutes, you can feign exhaustion, say goodnight and escape. You’d talked to almost everyone. Oliver Queen was quiet, but amiable. Hal Jordan was… flirty. Kara and Barry were obviously good friends and easily the bubbliest out of the whole group with infectious good humour. Clark was never far from Lois and you can see him firmly attaching himself tightly to her as midnight approached.  
You smirk at that and reflect on the night as a whole. Everyone was so… It was so hard to describe, even to yourself. They were all liars. The lot of them. There was no way it was a coincidence that all of these obviously powerful people just so happened to all be friends. But they were all also some of the most genuine people you’d ever met before. Earnest. Trustworthy. Good. As different as they all were, you could easily see yourself maintaining friendships with any of them, like you had with Clark.  
It was a little overwhelming. You tried not to think about it. You’d probably never see them again after tonight. Kind of hoped you never would. You weren’t sure how your heart would handle being around so many intense beings much more.  
And yet, for this moment, where Kara easily threw her arm (a very muscular arm for such a small girl) around your waist and Barry on your other side, around your shoulders as you all began the countdown in loud, definitely tipsy voices; you could not bring yourself to regret coming. You were still attempting to tamp down your instinct to book it out of there as fast as you could, but this was… nice. You LIKED these people. You were glad you came. Thank god for people like Clark Kent.  
“5! 4!”  
“3! 2! 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!”  
You all call out. The excitement and laughter and smiles and good company seeped into your skin and you all embraced each other and sang that song no one knows all the words to. It was patchy, unsynchronized and out of key but you find yourself, embarrassingly, choking back traitorous emotions surrounded by dangerous, beautiful, relative strangers.  
You’re sure it’s partially the alcohol’s fault, (who are you kidding. You get this emotional every New Year’s), but an ridiculously absurd sense of belonging swells in your chest and you shudder.  
You down your champagne. Maybe not the smartest idea, but you need to chase away the lump in your throat. You get swept into everyone hugging. First Kara and Barry, who squeeze warmly, then Hal who also kisses both of your already heated cheeks. Then surprisingly, Oliver, who hugged quick, but tight. Clark and Lois are still making out like teens in the center of the room, so you hug Bruce. He smiles and pats your back amiably. Diana is last, and holds on the longest. You loosened your arms to let go, but she was so strong, you didn’t move an inch. She rubbed your back and whispered in your ear.  
“Listen, Eliza. I don’t know why you’re afraid… but I hope you know, you’re safe with us. And we’re all very glad to have met you”  
To your horror, a sob threatens to tear out of your throat. You pull back, still in Diana’s arms, but facing her and she reaches up to brush tears off your face. You smile shakily.  
“Thanks. I’m so glad to have met you all too” Your voice quakes and you can feel Bruce eyeing you, but Diana’s expression is understanding.  
You take a few deep breaths and then pull yourself together and all the way out of Diana’s embrace and scrub your face dry. You must look terrible.  
Barry makes a sound of concern and you feel him rubbing your back gently.  
“Hey, what happened?” He asks softly.  
“Wait, our new best friend is crying? What?” Kara’s worried face appears on your other side.  
You laugh and cover your face, shaking your head.  
“Oh my gosh, this is so embarrassing. I’m fine guys I promise”  
“You sure?” You get from three people at once.  
You laugh again.  
“Yeah I’m fine” You turn and smile at each of them. “I was scared. But I’m not anymore”.  
And it was true. You’re still shaking, but for now, you’re only in awe of their strength and concern, with no more fear clogging your chest.  
“Scared?” Kara’s eyes widen.  
“Of what, Eliza?” Barry asks encouragingly.  
Before you can think of how to answer that, Bruce speaks up.  
“Of us” He meets your eyes with upturned brows. “Right?”  
You’re so surprised you just stare at him.  
“Us?” Kara asks, perplexed. “Why would she be scared of us?”  
Without your permission, an incredulous snort escapes you and you shoot her a look, “Why indeed” You mutter.  
Kara looks shocked.  
Damn. You’re a little too drunk for this.  
“What’s going on here?” Clark appears, a dazed but smug Lois on his arm.  
“How much do you know?” Bruce ignores Clark and looks straight at you. You burn under so much attention. You messed up. You messed up. You messed up.  
“Uh…” You bite your lip and fiddle with your hands. “Nothing at all really”  
“Bruce, what…” Something dawns on Clark’s face. The same thing Barry, Kara and Diana have obviously come to a conclusion about. “Are you saying… she knows… uh, Eliza?” He turns to you.  
“No, I really don’t. Listen all I can tell is that you’re all very… very dangerous people. I don’t know why, or how. But I know…” You take a deep breath, “that you’re good. All of you are good. So I’m not afraid” You try to slip some confidence into your voice but you suddenly are aware of the isolation brought by the difference between their numbers and yours again.  
Bruce speaks again,  
“You said you can tell? How?” Despite everything, his voice isn’t harsh, just curious.  
Feeling very small, you decide to admit what you’ve never told anyone before. “The numbers” You mutter.  
“Numbers?” Clark prompts.  
“I can see… numbers. Above people’s heads. It tells me how dangerous someone is”  
Bruce made a noise, like you’d just confirmed a suspicion of his, but everyone else was strangely quiet.  
It was silent for a long time as the company absorbed this, until Barry whispered giddily  
“That’s so cool”  
Your eyes shoot to him and he covers his mouth as though he hadn’t expected you to hear him.  
“Cool?” You ask.  
“W-well yeah. That’s such a cool ability. Not to mention useful” His eyes widened and he gestured excitedly to just above his head “Wait, so you can see… what? Wait, so what does mine say?”  
You snort softly and find yourself smiling.  
“You’re a ten, Barry” You say, “Most of us all here are 10’s”  
“Most?” Kara asks, also sounding curious.  
“Except me, Lois” You point at yourself, and then gesture forwards “And Diana”  
Her eyebrow quirks.  
“I’m a five, so is Lois,” You explain, “and Diana is an 11”  
A guffaw breaks out of Hal, and Kara, Barry and Clark are quick to follow, although slightly more stifled. Diana seems smug and smiles as Hal high-fives her. Everyone is sending looks at Bruce.  
He sighs “I always knew Diana was stronger than any of us” He mutters, but still seems slightly disgruntled nonetheless.  
Clark steps forwards and places a hand on your shoulder.  
“Eliza, how come you never told me?”  
Kara slaps his arm. “Because she was scared dummy? Aren’t you listening? Geez, what’s even the point of super-hearing…” She trails off.  
“Kara” Clark looks sharply at her.  
“She was going to figure it out sooner than later now that she’s met us all, Clark” Diana spoke up. “It’s better she hears it from us, right? Let’s not insult her intelligence”  
Diana turns back to you and you watch her, pretty confused by the entire exchange. To your further confusion, she extends her hand out to you like another handshake.  
“I’m Diana Prince. Also known as Princess Diana of Themiscyra, also known as Wonder Woman” She introduces herself smoothly, but you still choke.  
You’re definitely too drunk for this.


End file.
